I'm a Dirty Girl
I’m a dirty pig. I eat and drink at my desk all day long and the result is a cockroach’s dream. I’m looking at my desk now. I see an empty cup from the Stardust, a full styrofoam cup of iced tea, and an almost empty metal mug of old chai tea. Next to my mug, there is a gladware container with the remnants of my tuna salad lunch smeared on the inside. Crumbs are everywhere: on my desk, on my seat (currently being ground in to my butt), on the floor. In fact, I see a very large chunk of apple on the floor to my right. Oops. I suppose it will stay there until cleaning day – Tuesday.
About once every two weeks, I spill something. Usually, it’s just a glass of water. Once however, it was 20 oz of hot tea. I didn’t spill it on my desk though; I spilled it on my boss’. Twenty ounces of tea is quite a bit of liquid. I managed to completely fill the compartments in her top drawer with tea. It took many sheets of Bounty to clean up that mess.
As horrible as it was to ruin my boss’ papers, my worst spill was at my own desk. It was another, full, 20 oz cup of water. Usually, spilling water on my desk is welcome. The clean-up process leaves the desk free of grime and crumbs. This time, though, there was so much water that it did not stay in a nice desk-top puddle, but flowed over the edge and into my keyboard.
My keyboard is far from pristine. The key tops are grimy. The cracks are full of crumbs. Still, despite the food debris, it functions. However, I soon learned that water and a keyboard do not mix. After spilling the water in my keyboard, I held it upside down to drain it and went back to work. I thought nothing more of the accident until my keys started malfunctioning. Pushing any key on the right end produced unexpected results, like bringing up strange dialogue boxes or suddenly switching to other programs. It was quite bizarre. It also made it difficult to work, so I swapped the wet keyboard out with a dry one. The ruined keyboard is my dirty little secret.
I’ll continue to pig out at my desk, but I’ll be investing in a new water container. (I don’t have any more spare keyboards.) I’m thinking of something with a lid. Food and computer equipment can peacefully coexist, but liquids are deadly.